text version
Title: Schoolyard Taunting
Author: Devin
Email: franny122004@gmail.com
Website: http://dancing-through-life.com/
Rating: PG-13
Category: SRA
Keywords: MSR, Angst
Spoilers: Nothing major
Summary: Mulder and Scully have survived a lot of
things. Would a rumor be enough to separate them?
Disclaimer: If there's any name you recognize it's
probably not my character and they belong to CC,
DD, GA, and/or Fox.
Author's Note: This is in response to the August
Challenge for MSR Preservation Society.
Part 1
"If that woman ever comes near me again I'll kill
her."
"Oh come on Dee, it's not like she was lying."
Mulder had never seen his partner so angry, and
considering their profession and all the times
he'd pushed her buttons that was saying something.
"How can you be so calm about this? We could lose
our jobs over this."
"It's just a rumor. If they could fire us because
of rumors we would have been fired a long time
ago."
"But this isn't just any unsubstantiated rumor,
she has proof."
***
1 Month Earlier
"Lizzy? I haven't talked to you in ages. What have
you been up to? You transferred here? Sure I'll
meet you for lunch. 12:30? Okay I'll see you
there. Bye bye." As Scully hung up the phone she
met Mulder's curious gaze. Before he could ask
anything she told him, "Lizzy is someone I knew
from the academy. I haven't seen her since she was
transferred to the field office in Cheyenne. So,
I'm meeting her for lunch." The weird look on his
face didn't dissipate after this explanation.
"What?"
"Nothing, nothing," he said snapping back to
reality. "Did you get the tox-screen back?" So
they went back to discussing the case until Mulder
just couldn't take it anymore. "Didn't you once
tell me that Lizzy was a 'backstabbing selfish
brat'? Why are you going to lunch with her?"
Scully sighed and tried to explain. "I'm sure
Lizzy hasn't changed and I'm not dying to hang-out
with her but for as long as I've known her the
general rule has been 'give her what she wants and
she'll go away'. She can make anyone's life a
living hell and I don't need that right now. So
I'm going to lunch."
***
"Dana!" a loud obnoxious voice yelled from a table
across the room when Scully walked into the small
diner.
Pasting on her fakest smile Scully walked over to
where a frizzy blonde haired woman with a giant
mole on her right cheek sat. "Hi Lizzy."
Lizzy waved her hand at the empty chair with a
manner that seemed to imply she was holding court
causing Scully's smile to almost fall off her face
and have to hide a wince as she bit the side of
her cheek. The waiter who came over to take their
drink orders saved her briefly from having to
think of a conversation.
"So, Dana, anything new with you? I hear you're
still chasing little green men."
"Grey," Scully said under her breath but just
nodded at Lizzy. Maybe if she didn't make too many
comments this lunch would be over quickly.
"I was so surprised when I got back and heard you
were still playing Mrs. Spooky. Colton seemed a
little shocked too when I talked to him a week
ago. You know, I think he's still carrying a torch
for you. We should double date sometime. I'm sure
Mike would love to meet you. Did I tell you I was
still with him? So what do you think? Or won't
Spooky let you out of his sight for any extended
period of time?"
This last bit was the straw that broke the camel's
back. "Don't call him that."
Lizzy was shocked; this was possibly the first
time anyone had told her not to do anything. So
she laughed, figuring there must be a mistake. "Oh
come on Dana, it's just a nickname. Everybody uses
it."
"It's not just a nickname," Scully said, now
seething. "It's insulting and shows that even the
FBI isn't an escape from schoolyard taunting."
"You screwing him or something?"
"Why? Because that's the only reason anyone would
care? Please tell me you're kidding."
"Are you?"
"Goodbye Lizzy." Scully got up and, after making a
hasty apology to the waiter who was coming back to
take their order, left.
Lizzy couldn't believe what had happened. "Oh you
are going to be so sorry."
***
Mulder was reading over a file when Scully got
back from lunch. He didn't have to ask how lunch
went because her body language said it all. He
knew she wouldn't talk about it while they were at
work and that they weren't going to get anything
done until they talked. "Hey Scully, I was
thinking of cutting out early. What do you think?"
She looked at him, knowing what he was doing, and
nodded gratefully. "Sure Mulder."
"Great, I'll meet you at your place in an hour.
You want the regular stuff on the pizza?"
***
"Come on Tom. All you have to do is get into her
apartment," Lizzy said as she tried to convince
Colton to help her.
"Why would I help you?"
"You want to get back on her good side right? Well
she's never going to come around until she's away
from Mulder."
"Do you think I'm stupid or something?" he asked
in disbelief. "I only had to learn once that
trying to get between them is a bad idea and that
was when they'd only been partnered for a month."
Lizzy could sense that she was losing this battle
quickly so she went to plan B. "Look, if you want
to make AD at any point in your career you'll do
this."
***
When Scully answered the door the last person she
expected to see was Tom Colton. "Uh hey Colton.
What's up?"
"Dana could I talk to you?"
Under normal circumstances she would have just
told him that it wasn't a good time but he looked
like something was really bothering him so she
stepped aside and let him in. "Sure but Mulder's
coming over in a little while."
End (1/2)
Note: The rumor's coming up soon, I promise.
Part 2
Colton looked around Scully's apartment as he sat
on the couch. When he glanced over at her, she had
sat down in a chair near the couch putting as much
distance as was polite between them, he saw the
wariness mixed with concern in her expression and
almost couldn't go through with the plan but as
soon as Lizzy's words popped back into his head he
knew he had to. "Um, Dana could I get something to
drink?"
"Oh yeah sure. Ice tea or rootbeer? Sorry that's
all I have, I need to go to the store. Although,
if you're brave enough to try the tap water you
could have that instead."
"Um rootbeer's fine, thanks."
As she went to the kitchen he thought he heard her
say, "Yeah, I used to think so too" but wasn't
sure because it didn't make any sense. He didn't
stop to ponder the secret meaning behind rootbeer
because he had to stash the bugs before she came
back. He put one under the coffee table and one
behind the nightstand by her bed. He thought he'd
gotten away with it until Scully came out of the
kitchen at the same time he was coming down the
hall.
"Uh Colton, were you looking for something?" she
asked looking down the hallway trying to tell
which door he'd opened.
"Oh just the bathroom. I found it."
"Okay," she said still looking wary. She handed
him his soda, which he immediately took a long
swig of. "So..." but whatever she was going to ask
was cut off by a knock on the door.
He almost fainted with relief at the sight of
Mulder standing in the doorway with a pizza box;
this was the perfect excuse to leave without
raising further suspicions. "I think I'm gonna cut
out, 'kay?"
"Sure, sorry we didn't get to talk."
Waving off her apology he quickly retreated down
the hall and outside to the car that was waiting
for him. He opened the passenger door and got in.
"Did you do it?"
"Yes," he said bitterly.
"Excellent. You did good Tom." Lizzy tried for a
reassuring smile but it just looked sickenly-sweet
and wouldn't have fooled anyone.
"Just get me out of here."
***
3 Week Later
Lizzy looked at the tapes on her desk and decided
that she finally had all the evidence she needed.
With any other couple it would have only taken a
couple days to get enough but they went away on
cases so often that it took longer. All she had to
do now was spread the details around until the
higher ups just couldn't ignore it anymore. It
would probably be easier to send the tapes to
Skinner or something but this prolonged the
torture.
She picked up the phone and dialed Danielle's
number. Danielle was possibly the biggest gossip
the bureau had ever known and if anyone could help
her start a rumor it was her.
"Hello, Danielle? You're not going to believe what
I just found out."
***
By the end of the week the news had spread
throughout the Hoover building and to some people
in nearby field offices. The only people who
didn't know about it had just gotten back from a
case.
"That wasn't a ghost."
"Oh come on you could see right through him. How
do you account for that? Was he on the Subway diet
too long?"
She was about to reply but Kim came bursting in.
"Agents, I heard you were back. I had to tell you
before you heard it from someone else."
"Hear what?"
"The rumor that's going around right now."
"Another one?" they asked at the same time.
"Yeah, actually this one wouldn't be that
interesting, creativity wise it's nothing compared
to some of the other ones over the years, if not
for one thing." They both looked at her
questioningly. "It's pretty much your standard
'they're sleeping together and practically living
together' rumor but supposedly there are tapes and
I mean of everything."
"Kim, do you have any idea who started it?"
She looked apologetically at him, "No, the
farthest I could trace it back was Agent Waters,
but every rumor seems to lead back to her somehow.
She doesn't start them she just... let's them
flourish."
***
Scully was pacing a whole in the floor when Mulder
got back. "What'd you find out?"
Mulder went over to his desk and collapsed into
his chair before answering her. "Well Danielle was
more than happy to talk, as always. Apparently
this all started with an old buddy of yours. Agent
Tom Colton."
***
"Is it true?" asked the youngest of the group
standing around a desk in the bullpen.
"Of course it's true. We've all known for years,
how could they not be?" answered the one sitting
down sounding quite indignant at the thought of it
even being questioned.
"Well I'm not going to believe it 'til I hear the
tapes, there's been way too many stories about
those two to just believe one off the bat."
Another agent scoffed at this, "You just don't
want to believe that Mulder's taken."
"Hey, a girl can dream can't she?" she answered, a
deep blush forming on her cheeks. "So I heard
they're living together and her mother is
pressuring them to get married, you think that's
true?"
"No, they'd be more careful than that. Someone
would notice..." a sharp elbow to the ribs cut off
the agent's statement.
If Mulder noticed the sudden end of the
conversation as he walked in he didn't show any
sign of it he just walked to Colton's desk.
"Colton, I don't know what the hell you think
you're playing at. What on earth is this about
tapes?"
To Colton's credit he only looked scared for his
life for a moment and then noticing the group
listening a couple desks away motioned him away
from them.
"Look, I had no idea what she was going to do."
"She?"
"Yeah, she. I thought Dana knew not to make her
mad."
***
Scully sat looking at the disabled bugs they had
just found where Colton said they'd be. "If that
woman ever comes near me again I'll kill her."
"Oh come on Dee, it's not like she was lying."
Mulder said, trying to pacify her.
"How can you be so calm about this? We could lose
our jobs over this."
"It's just a rumor. If they could fire us because
of rumors we would have been fired a long time
ago."
"But this isn't just any unsubstantiated rumor,
she has proof. She has those stupid tapes. What
are we going to do?" She buried her head in her
hands as if trying to block everything out.
"She doesn't seem inclined to hand those out or
she would have done it already. It'll die down
once they get something else to talk about."
Scully looked up at him, almost sadly, and handed
him a piece of paper. "I forgot to tell you about
this when you came back from talking to Colton.
Our presence has been requested by OPR. I think
she was saving the big guns for later."
***
Outside of OPR
One Week Later
Scully couldn't sit down. She was way too stressed
and what made it worse was that Mulder wasn't
there yet. She checked her watch for what must
have been the millionth time. 'Where is he?'
As if in answer to her question Mulder walked
around the corner. When he saw the look on her
face he quickly explained, "I had to check to see
if the Gunmen had finished something for me.
Ready?"
Before she could answer or question him further he
was leading her through the conference room door.
She couldn't honestly say that she heard
everything that the panel was saying. The most she
remembers about those first ten minutes was
feeling like a bug under a microscope.
"So at this time we would like to hear these tapes
which have caused so much trouble. Agent
Schnider?"
Lizzy, who had sat unnoticed in the back of the
room until now, walked forward and set down a
small stack of tapes. Picking up the first tape
she put it in a small boombox and pushed play.
What came out was something that only one person
in the room was expecting.
'Joy to the World' made it through it's first
verse before Lizzy could get herself to turn it
off. She fast forwarded it and tried it again but
the same thing happened. She tried some of the
different tapes with no varying result.
"Agents you may go, we're sorry for the
misunderstanding," the head of the panel said to
Mulder and Scully. "Agent Schnider, you will stay
and explain this."
As soon as they were out of the room Scully turned
to Mulder and said, "What did you do?"
"Well, seeing as you two are such good friends I
thought I'd have the Gunmen give her a couple
copies of one of your favorite songs. Do you think
she liked it?"
The End
